With You
by mcmachine
Summary: While waiting on Jo and Alex's wedding, Jackson and April have the opportunity to hash a few things out. 14x24 fix-it.


The planning that had been put forth into Alex and Jo's wedding had been nothing short of perfection.

But only so much could be done for the fact that it seemed like both the bride and the groom had gone missing. If it had been only one member of the party, then it would have been more upsetting and less confusing than the current circumstances. Alex and Jo, however, had gone missing together and now neither of them was answering their phones. Arizona had apparently been the last person to see the two of them running off together.

Impatience had settled over everyone who was now lurking and waiting for the ceremony to get started. Pristinely placed chairs had twisted and turned to accommodate conversations. It was still a social event certainly, but the talk that now took place about the bride and groom was not in any predicted direction.

April had tried to run around and find them until the wedges that she was wearing had made her feet ache. They were nowhere to be found by any means. It's not like they could exactly call the police – even though she was just about ready to after everything.

Instead of that, though, she had found a bench outside of the barn to just sit down for a moment and try to collect herself. It was almost ironic, another wedding that she had planned and it seemed like it too was just on the verge of falling apart. It certainly hadn't been what she had planned on when she had offered to do the planning for the supposedly happy couple. She felt like a bad luck charm for weddings. The one that she had planned to Matthew had fallen apart, the elopement with Jackson had been rendered a disaster by the divorce, and now, there was another one that her touch had managed to ruin.

"Hey you," a soft voice approached her, and her head jerked up to see him.

Jackson was standing there with his hands tucked into the pockets of his dress pants, a small smile on his face. He had grown a bit restless of waiting around for the bride and groom to show as well, deciding to take a walk and stretch his legs, get a break from all of the small talk.

"I was just thinking about you," April admitted with a small smile, patting the empty place on the bench next to her, repositioning and smoothing out the skirt of her dress so he wouldn't sit on it.

"What about?" Jackson asked.

"When you stood up at my wedding," she shrugged slightly. "And how all of the planning that went into that wedding pretty much went to waste, really. I am currently zero for two when it comes to planning weddings," she let out a slight chuckle.

"At least this time it's the planned bride and groom who ran out?" He suggested with an easy chuckle leaving his lips as he sat down next to her.

April let out a soft laugh of her own, pushing his arm playfully. "Yeah, I guess there's always that." She agreed with a shake of her head with a clear smile remained in place on her glossed lips.

"You planned a beautiful wedding, for what it's worth. You've got a real knack for it." Jackson added after a quiet moment, glancing over at her.

It's in that moment that he realized just how close the two of them were to one another. The last time he'd been this close to her, she had been dying and he had been begging and pleading with her god. It had been a wake-up call for him, the relationship with Maggie. Jackson had figured all of it out. He'd been lonely and she'd been there, always there. It had been convenient but it had never been real. He had broken up with her. The hindsight from the breakup and the fact that he had nearly lost the love of his life in a freak accident had cleared everything up for him. She was always going to be the one, no matter what. And she was right there.

What he didn't know was that April had a similar revelation of her own.

Hearing Jackson pray for her, believe and beg and hold onto her like there was nothing left in the world, it had brought her back. She hadn't felt the same love and joy in her heart when Matthew had been wheeled in the room. All of it paled next to Jackson. It always had. She'd tried to convince herself that this was good for her, that he was. On paper, they couldn't have been better, ignoring the wedding fiasco. And Matthew was a good man and a good friend, someone who understood and could talk about things without it being explosive. But he never made her heart swell and sing in the way that Jackson did. The passion between her and her ex-husband was unmatched by any other man in the world.

All of those things were next to impossible for the both of them to say, even inches apart from each other. What they didn't know was the only thing that stopped either of them. It's not fear of the unknown, but discomfort with what they think they know.

"You look nice," Jackson finally breathed out when she said nothing.

"So do you," April replied, smile saying what she couldn't for a moment.

Leaning into him, one of her arms slipped and hooked around his, making herself comfortable as her head found its home on his shoulder. She took a deep breath, eyes shutting for a brief moment and enjoying the moment. All of the thing that they hadn't had lately could be captured for a brief moment, trying to make up for all the time that had already been lost between them.

Jackson turned to her and placed his nose on top of the soft waves of her hair, inhaling deeply. She smelled fresh and floral as always. He couldn't quite name the scent, but it was easy to identify as a part of her. That was at least one thing that hadn't changed.

"Do you remember the last time we said that to each other?" April asked.

There were still fond memories of the night that they were supposed to have a resident's dinner with Webber – it had eventually been ruined when two of the five of them hadn't shown up, much to their distress to find out later the plane they had been on had crashed. But for a moment, it had been sweet, just the two of them, like nothing else in the world had mattered. One last rendezvous before he went to Tulane.

"I do," Jackson gave a slight nod of the head. "We thought it was going to be one of the last times that we got to be together. I was supposed to go to Tulane. You were staying." A hard night to forget for the both of them, for many reasons.

"I was so sad. I didn't want to be, I wanted to have a nice time, but I was." April replied, a sigh passing through her lips as she leaned into him a little more, slouching forward and shifting to keep one of her dangling earrings from being caught between her cheek and his shoulder. "A bit like now."

"What do you mean?" Jackson asked, his brows furrowing down.

A quiet moment passed and April could feel his eyes watching her carefully. Too much had already spilled past her lips and yet now she can't take it back or undo what had been said. She wasn't sure that she wanted to, either.

Stretching out her lungs with a full and deep breath, she carefully planned the next words to come from her mouth. She didn't want to say too much – but she also didn't want to be ambiguous with him, either. She had assumed that he was here with Maggie, but honestly, she'd been too busy running around with the planning and then trying to find Alex and Jo to know any better. To know that they had come separately to the event, not together, that Maggie was probably somewhere at this very moment complaining to Meredith or Amelia about being broken up with.

"I guess I just miss you, that's all." April finally said, choosing not to say too much.

"You don't have to, you know," Jackson began. "I'm right here. And I'm always going to be right here. For you, for Harriet… you two are the most important people in my life and that's not something that's going to change any time soon, I can promise you that much. That's just the way that things are. Me, and you, and Harriet." He concluded, speaking as if it was one of the most simple and obvious things in the world.

A quiet beat passed. "What about Maggie?" She asked, pulling away just the slightest so that she could turn her head to look up at him.

"I broke up with her." Lips tighten into a line for a moment. "After the accident. Just… it made me realize that I don't love her. And I don't think I'm ever going to."

Do you love me?

It's the question that April wanted to ask him and yet she can't find herself to be quite so bold yet, wetting her lips. "I just assumed… neither of you put a plus one down on your RSVP so I thought you guys were coming together. As a couple." She said instead. chewing at the flesh of her lower lip.

"Nope," he popped the syllable, shaking his head. "She was just… there, I guess. I feel bad in hindsight, letting her think there was something more. I should have known better." He glanced away. "What about you and Matthew?"

"I broke up with him," she murmured, catching herself glancing down at his lips for a moment. "We were always better on paper than in practice. I think I was just lonely."

April knew that it wasn't fair to Matthew which was why she had cut things off before they could have gone any further this time, not wanting to completely repeat the mistakes that she had made in the past. Things would never be fair to him as long as Jackson was there. She had tried again and again to get past him, here and there, living with him or living on her own… yet he still had a hold on her heart. It was something that had never gone away. Maybe it never would. She hoped it wouldn't.

"Oh," Jackson breathed out quietly. "I didn't know that."

"Only Arizona did," she chewed at the inside of her cheek for a moment.

"Just like the relationship." A little bitter, though he couldn't completely identify why. Was it because she was seeing Matthew? Or was it just because she was seeing someone that wasn't him?

Hazel eyes fell away for a moment. "Yeah. I didn't know how you or anyone else would react."

"I have to admit, I didn't like it," Jackson said a little too quickly. "Kind of felt like your way of saying that everything that happened between the two of us was a mistake. Going back to him like it was just… nothing." He explained, frown digging across his expression.

"Jackson, no, that's not it at all," April said with a shake of her head. "We were just… friends again after his wife died. I felt like he deserved better, he deserved to have someone who understood and I don't really know how it happened. He wanted it and I went along with it. It was just easy. He was there. Like you said with Maggie. And he got the faith stuff." She explained, flattening her palms against the tops of her thighs.

"I don't know if I completely get it now," he released the breath that he was holding onto. "But I get it now a lot more than I did before. I know you can explain all of it with science and so can I, but… you squeezing my hand like that, right after I had prayed… I felt God. I'd never felt that before."

It's a level of honesty that Jackson hadn't shared with her or anyone else in a long time. He still wasn't completely convinced that there was some do-good creator out there, but it certainly seemed like there had to be some kind of higher power at play, looking out for her, taking care of her. For that, he could be grateful. He had to be. He had made a promise, after all, if God wouldn't take her… then he would believe. He was a man who kept his promises. That was something April had always made sure he knew.

"I appreciate you saying that, Jackson." April reached for one of his hands as he spoke, smaller digits wrapping around it and giving him a squeeze.

"I'm not saying it just because," he added after a moment. "I do mean it."

"I believe you," April replied. "You prayed and it worked. And you are a man who keeps his promises. You always have been." A sincere smile pushed across her cheeks, but not enough, teeth remaining hidden.

Jackson squeezed her hand back, but there was something about her words that unsettled him slightly. He knew that she was being genuine in every way possible, but she was ignoring something. A promise that hadn't been kept. Promises. Vows. To her. He had thrown them out in an angry haste, too hurt to be able to make a good and fair judgment about the situation they had been through.

"Not all of them," he finally disagreed after a long pause.

One of her eyebrows quirked up at him. "What are you talking about?"

"Us."

Her eyebrows formed a deep furrow as she stared at her ex-husband, attempting to read everything that his face was conveying. There was a softness there that she had only seen a few times before, exclusively with herself and with their children. It almost doesn't seem to fit the moment and yet it's the exact thing that says what's going on inside of his head, what he was perhaps too scared to say directly.

Jackson regretted their divorce.

The flesh of April's lower lips caught between her teeth as she chewed on it for a moment. It was something that she had never been completely happy about, but she had settled into the decision because she knew that it was what he had wanted and she didn't want the pregnancy to complicate things any further.

"It's never going to be too late, Jackson. Not with me." April murmured sincerely after a long moment, her gaze softened as she looked up at him. No matter what, no matter how their relationship was defined, he would always be the love of her life.

"Would it be wrong to steal another wedding?" Jackson suggested teasingly, a real smile finally appearing across his expression.

"Yes!" She answered with loud laughter spilling out of her lips, shaking her head. He pulled her in closer to him, feeling the shake of her laughter vibrating against him. "Alex and Jo will show up eventually. Probably the second after we officially lose the venue." She commented though she couldn't keep the grin off her cheeks. It was a nice thought, being with him against. Even if she didn't want to do things on impulse with him. That had always been their flaw.

"Probably," Jackson chuckled out in agreement. "But maybe we can do something just for the two of us. After the wedding, tomorrow, whenever you want..."

"That sounds nice. Especially if this ends up being a bust." She beamed at him.

Jackson's hand reached up to cup her cheek, his thumb stroking gently across her cheekbone. He admired her for a brief moment, the freckles sprinkled across her pale skin not entirely hidden by the makeup that she wore, a little heavier for the wedding. She didn't need it to be beautiful. She was all on her own, inside and out.

There was only a brief pause of him staring intensely at her beautiful features before he acted on the instinct he had been trying to contain for far too long. Jackson leaned forward and closed the small distance between the two of them, his lips sealed over hers in a firm kiss. Her lipgloss tasted like something clean, unidentifiable to him. But she's just as warm as she's ever been, as soft and pliable as ever. Another nice thing that hadn't changed.

April leaned into him as she returned the kiss, one hand resting on his chest. She had missed kissing him in every Wayne, the way that it was so simple and yet it seemed like he could consume her all the same. That was the magic there, the magic between them. Something that she had never been able to find with someone else, something that she never wanted to find with anyone else. With him, it was perfect. He was all that she needed and more. When their lips finally part from each other's for oxygen, they barely distance each other, foreheads pressed together.

"Do you love me?" April whispered out the question softly, her eyebrows drawn down together.

"I never stopped," Jackson answered without hesitation.

"Me neither," she grinned once more at the words, teeth barely nipping at her lower lip. "I couldn't. No matter what it was, no matter how you made me want to pull my hair out, I couldn't stop loving you."

A frown appeared on Jackson's features for a brief moment, thumb brushing over her cheekbone again. "I never want to be like that with you, April. Not again. I don't want to be on the other side of things. I don't want to argue. We've already wasted too much time on that kind of thing." He expressed emphatically.

"I don't want that either." Her head nodded slightly, though she still kept the contact between their foreheads. "All I've ever wanted is to be with you. To have a big, happy family with you, to spend the rest of my life with you… not anyone else. And I certainly don't want to spend it alone, either. I don't care if I'm an independent woman. I love you, Jackson. Far too much to even try to be with anyone else again."

Beaming at her, Jackson spoke, "Did Alex tell you what song they picked for the first dance?

"All of Me, by John Legend," April answered without missing a beat.

"The lyrics kind of fit us, you know." He commented, his hand falling away from her face for a moment and instead, rested it on top of one of her thighs, content to stay there for a minute.

"You can't say that about someone else's wedding song. Especially when we're at their wedding." A laughter spilled out along with the commentary, giving a little shake of her head. "Besides, I'm not that much of a smart mouth. That's usually you." She pointed out with a raise of her eyebrows.

He chuckled. "Maybe," he half-agreed. "But it doesn't matter. I love you. All of you. Curves, edges, imperfections. Every bit of you."

"Now you're just being sweet," April murmured with her gaze dropping, one hand smoothing over the lapel of his suit jacket.

"A little bit," he shrugged off. "And yet I still mean it. Every word of it."

April leaned into him and pressed her lips to his once more, enjoying the warmth and the slightest rub of stubble against her chin. She had missed so much of him and maybe kissing was just the superficial level of everything that there was between them, but it was still something tangible and real to hold onto amid everything else.

"Let's try again, Jackson." She finally murmured affectionately, lashes fluttering as she looked up at him.

"Let's try again."

Their hands interlocked with one another, soft smiles matching as they stared contently into one another's gaze. Maybe too much time in the past had been spent lingering in mistakes and other issues that they had at one point, but they were not going to make the same mistakes. That was something that they could commit themselves to.


End file.
